There Is Nothing Like a Dame


Heidelberg High School
Spring, 1967
(Dress Rehearsal)
Program (pdf)

Sailors, Seabees and Marines:

We got sunlight on the sand,
We got moonlight on the sea,
We got mangoes and bananas
You can pick right off the tree,
We got volleyball and ping-pong
And a lot of dandy games!
What ain't we got?
We ain't got dames!

We get packages from home,
We get movies, we get shows,
We get speeches from our skipper
And advice from Tokyo Rose,
We get letters doused wit' poifume
We get dizzy from the smell--
What don't we get?
You know damn well!

We have nothing to put on a clean white suit for
What we need is what there ain't no substitute for...

There is nothing like a dame,
Nothing in the world,
There is nothing you can name
That is anything like a dame!

We feel restless, we feel blue,
We feel lonely and in grief,
We feel ev'ry kind of feeling,
But the feeling of relief
We feel hungry as the wolf felt
When he met Red Hiding-hood
What don't we feel?
We don't feel good!

Lots of things in life are beautiful, but brother,
There is one particular thing that is nothing whatsoever
In any way, shape or form like any other.

There is nothing like a dame,
Nothing in the world,
There is nothing you can name
That is anything like a dame!

Nothing else was built the same,
Nothing in the world
Has the soft and wavy frame
Of the silhouette of a dame!

There is absolutely nothing like a frame of a dame.

So suppose a dame ain't bright
Or completely free from flaws,
Or as faithful as a bird dog,
Or as kind as Santa Claus,
It's a waste of time to worry
Over things that they have not,
Be thankful for
The things they got!

There is nothing you can name
That is anything like a dame!

There are no books like a dame,
And nothing looks like a dame.
There are no drinks like a dame,
And nothing thinks like a dame,
Nothing acts like a dame,
Or attracts like a dame.
There ain't a thing that's wrong with any man here
That can't be cured by puttin' him near
A girly, womanly, female, feminine dame!